turning over a new leaf

Several weeks ago I decided to "turn over a new leaf".   I am frequently told that I am "too nice."  I usually laugh and think to myself "one can never be too nice.  Wouldn't it be a much better world if everyone were nice?   I don't think of this as a fault.  i have always taken pride in the fact that I am a "nice " person.  My mother always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  I used to think she created the phrase but as a young mom I heard it on the Disney movie Bambi.  Even if she didn't originate the phrase I thought it was a good idea.  I taught my children to be" nice."  I helped my students learn to be "nice."

This summer it has come up at the yarn shop a couple of times.  I was told by customers and employees that I was "too nice."   I have spent some time thinking about this.  Sometimes others take advantage of my  "niceness."   I am always surprise when someone is unkind to me or does something "not nice."   This is especially true when i feel like I have gone out of my way to do something kind or helpful for them.  A couple of weeks ago I stated that I was going to "turn over a new leaf" and be "bitchy."  I'm not sure I ever used that word out loud before and certainly never thought of acting that way.  Think about it.  Think of women you know who are powerful, assertive,  strong and successful.  they didn't get that way by being "nice."  Do you think Martha Stewart is "nice."   Not so much.  

It's hard to totally change one's personality and I am basically just a nice person.  I have had some "bitchy" moments in recent weeks.  My idea of "Bitchy" is probably other women's way of being assertive or in control at work.  My son, Noah would probably say I was "bitchy" as a mom.  He once said to me "You use up all you nice at school with other people and then you are grouchy at home."  I am sure I was just being Mom and trying to get him to do his homework or chores.  My husband has probably been the recipient  of lots of "bitchy" at home.   To be honest "Honey can you please put your dishes in the dishwasher" does not work as well as a stern"  "John George get in here and clear off the table, NOW!"   He laughs, but he does it!   Sorry mom, sometimes it doesn't work to be nice!!